Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
