there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
