Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
