Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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