Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
