did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
