Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
