remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's rum buckets o'clock
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
