Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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