Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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