my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
This is my gift to your gina
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
