just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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