O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
