Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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