thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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