Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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