yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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