how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
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My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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