Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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