I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
