You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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