Got a toothbrush?
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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