Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
