It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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