we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
