How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
