take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
