THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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