I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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