He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
