Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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