They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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