OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
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We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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