loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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