New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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