And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The Olympian is in my bed
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