What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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