What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
