butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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