How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
