Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
