I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
