Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
