Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
