Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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