I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
