help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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