I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
