your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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