wat bout pragnant strippers??
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The power of my boobs compel you
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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