Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Randomize
