I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
