Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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