Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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