His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
