he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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