its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
