I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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