and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
